'Red One' review: Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans' Christmas caper is a lump of coal
Courtesy of Amazon Studios/MGM
"The North Pole has been taken."
That line, delivered by Dwayne Johnson with the gravitas of a Liam Neeson thriller, sets the tone for “Red One,” the new Christmas action-comedy from “Jumanji” director Jake Kasdan.
The film attempts to put a fresh spin on the typical yuletide fare, but its results are decidedly mixed. On one hand, the fact that it plays many of its absurd story beats straight (it often feels like an SNL skit expanded into a feature) is a plus. Johnson, whose career has been marked by a string of forgettable misfires, shows a real commitment to the material. His performance is earnest, and you can tell he’s genuinely trying. But as a whole, “Red One” is a CGI-heavy slugfest filled with mind-boggling sequences, including one featuring Nick Kroll as a witch-possessed mercenary and another with digital snowmen battling it out on the sandy beaches of Aruba. You know, just the kind of Christmas spirit Santa himself would envision.
There’s plenty more where that came from in this bloated, visually garish, and massively budgeted made-for-streaming release. It’s ideal as background viewing while the kids open presents on Christmas morning. Like many holiday films before it, “Red One” attempts to explain who Santa Claus is—though with a slightly more inventive twist. Here, Santa (played by a muscular J.K. Simmons) runs the North Pole like it’s the White House. He oversees a military-like operation, with an army of workers and senior personnel running daily simulations to ensure a smooth Christmas.
Johnson’s character, Callum Drift, is the head of the E.L.F. Task Force (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification), whose sole mission is to protect Santa, aka Red One, at all costs. It’s an intriguing bit of world-building, and screenwriter Chris Morgan (known for the Fast & Furious franchise) seems to enjoy subverting audience expectations for Christmas movies. But before long, the film becomes bogged down in its own chaos, with its jokes growing thin and the narrative stagnating.
When Santa is kidnapped, Callum recruits Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans, cashing an easy paycheck) to help track him down and lead a rescue operation before Christmas is ruined. Their journey leads them into a series of increasingly bizarre encounters, including the aforementioned CGI snowmen, a headless horseman, and Krampus. Meanwhile, Callum grapples with a crisis of identity (“we’re up 22% on the naughty list”) and his own fading Christmas spirit. Once they find Santa, he wants to retire.
These story beats attempt to navigate the film’s rough narrative waters, with Evans and Johnson finding some moments of levity as the movie shifts into a buddy comedy in the second half. Unfortunately, their chemistry isn’t enough to salvage the film from overstuffing itself like a Thanksgiving turkey. “Red One” leaves you nostalgic for the days of decent, if mediocre, Christmas movies (I, for one, am an ardent defender of “The Santa Clause 2”). Perhaps time will be kinder to “Red One,” but there’s little cheer to be spread here.
Grade: C
RED ONE is now playing in theaters.