'Borderlands' review: Video game adaptation is a wasteland of epic proportions
Courtesy of Lionsgate
Between “Fallout, “The Super Mario. Bros Movie,” and “The Last of Us,” video game adaptations seemed to be turning the page on what had been a history of disappointments. The hope was “Borderlands,” which features an A-list cast of Cate Blanchett, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart, and Jack Black, would continue the trend, but alas not all good things last forever and this one is a giant piece of crap. The first mistake was not taking notes from its counterparts listed above and going the limited series route. After all, “Borderlands” is a multi-game series with an immersive planet that’s worth exploring and characters who, when given ample time to flesh out their backstories, make you somewhat care about them.
No such attention was paid here by writer-director Eli Roth who apparently retooled the entire film after he didn’t like the script “Last of Us” scribe Craig Mazin created. In fact, it became such a cluster, rumor has it filmmaker Tim Miller had to come in and do extensive reshoots to try and frankenstein the movie together. And, considering half of the plot nor the rhythm of the film makes any sense, it shows. It would be like if you asked your mom if you can see “Guardians of the Galaxy” and your mom then promptly responds with: “We have ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ at home.” Hell, I’d argue half of the cast thought they were in an entirely different movie, especially poor Blanchett who finds herself in probably the worst film of her career, however, she’s about the only one who can salvage even a speck of integrity in this vapid wasteland of a movie.
She plays Lilith, who grew up on Pandora (no, not that one), where it’s overrun with bandits, loonies, and contract killers trying to locate a hidden vault that’s filled with tech left over by an ancient alien civilization. Now, she’s a bounty hunter for hire and, as the movie begins, is offered a massive payday to retrieve Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt of “Barbie” fame), a teeanger who is supposedly the offspring of a wealthy, villainous capitalist (Edgar Ramirez).
When she arrives on her home planet, she’s forced to team up with a crew of unlikely allies, including the R2-D2 wannabe droid named Claptrap, voiced decently by Black; the obligatory rebel merc with the mouth Roland (Hart - looking lost and confused); there’s the team’s bodyguard Kreig (Florian Munteanu) who desperately wants you to think he’s cool by invoking memories of Drax or Bane (as the kids say, he does not have the rizz). And finally, there’s a kooky mad scientist named Tannis played by Jamie Lee Curtis who’s high squealed voice might be the worst thing I’ve seen all year.
And yet, despite this assembly of talent, “Borderlands” rarely invokes laughter or intrigue. The crew simply doesn’t have the camaraderie (or the narrative threads) to sustain themselves. Likewise for the film’s muddy visual effects. It really says something that you can Google the game and instantly find a vibrant, more colorful locale than whatever the hell Roth decided to throw up on the screen. Despite having a vast and rich source material to build from, “Borderlands” finds itself in the pantheon of horrible video-game to movie adaptations that’ll just make you want to go home and fire up your gaming console in the hopes of washing the bad taste out of your mouth.
Grade: D-
BORDERLANDS is now playing in theaters.
The review provides a critical look at the Borderlands adaptation, highlighting its shortcomings. Despite the missed opportunities, the game's unique character art styles stand out and are worth exploring further. For game developers, studying how character art styles contribute to the overall narrative could offer valuable insights into creating compelling adaptations. Although the film may not hit the mark, the distinctive visual elements of the game continue to offer inspiration for future projects.